I was walking through the woods being very tired, hurt with feeling of loneliness. What kept coming to my heart was the many trails I’ve been on, seeing so many ways. I was searching season upon season for the promise and experience of our Blue Deer, which represents, “Peace Within.”
We speak of the past and the present and the future. I can only speak of the past and the present and when my words are completed in this story, then you along with me may be able to share the future.
While I was walking on Mother Earth in the wilderness, I was surrounded with our tree brothers, I heard a loud cry from above and saw in the sky that it was our winged brother the Eagle. He was coming down fast and hard. I knew he was in trouble, so I ran to see when he came to rest.
I came upon a big pool on the creek and I saw him standing there. As I walked up, he said to me, “I am very tired.” He was breathing very hard and it looked like he was in much pain all over his body. He asked me not to come too close, for he felt as I did. My heart felt his pain and I sat down next to the pond that was so clear. I looked down into the pond and I didn’t like what I saw. I hit the water with a stone and the vision went away, but it came back. I knew no matter what, this would never change, for it was me. I then looked at my winged brother and said, “This has been a hard road and I feel like giving up.”
He shook his whole body and I heard him cry. He looked at me and said, “My Red Brother, I have been with you since you came into this world, and I heard you cry as a little one and I knew that you would be very strong, but, you would seek many trails and trials. I saw you point up to the sky many times and I felt you in my heart. Now today, my Red Brother, you are able to look at me. You see that I came down and I hurt my wings and I’m missing some of my claws and feathers. Now you sit across from me and I will say this, we both share that same pain.”
“I will share this with you my brother, I lost my claws by trying to hold on to you each time you wanted to give up on life. It was very hard but, you are here today. I saw you go through pain when you were little and the pain you had with your family. I knew and felt every pain and suffered as you did. But again, I held onto you. When you got older, I saw you with the other young bucks and all of you were playing hard games that would hurt. I knew you would be in much trouble — burning your spirit within, with all the drugs and alcohol. Even though I suffered for you, I was becoming very weak and yes, I held onto you still. Each time you were in that place with the gray walls, called prison, I heard you and your other Red Brothers. I flew around and I saw that, you did see me. You were beginning to work the OLD WAYS in your identity.”
As I sat there looking at my winged brother, I felt tears coming to my eyes and my heart became very soft. I didn’t like feeling this way, because I was always making my heart hard to everyone and everything. Yet here he was, sharing some of my life with me but most of all, sharing the suffering I was going through.
My winged brother told me to again, look into the pond this time, look and see through his eyes and hear his words with my heart. He said, “You will heal as I will, and we will both become strong together.” He said he too had little ones, and together we will teach them to understand the OLD WAYS of our people. Our little ones are our future and next generations. He said to me that the identity of myself and other Red Brothers and Sisters has been here for many seasons.
I – INTOXICATION
D – DRUGS
E – EMPTINESS
N – NEGATIVE
T – TRIALS
I – INSANTIY
T – TEMPER
Y – YOU
“So, this will all change my brother, for the eyes that I have, you and many others will begin to see through. Grandfather has heard all of your cries and has seen the gray walls that surround your hearts.
You are all beginning to seek the trail of your OLD WAYS, which is the medicine of life to come. Your new Native American Identity is to be shared with all and these gray walls can never surround you again. Believe in our medicines Brother.”
In all my relations,
Drugs and alcohol has,
Even more today tried to kill us.
Native American drug and alcohol workshop has,
Taught us to go back to the OLD WAYS
In time we will be able to share with young and old,
Truthfulness about drugs and alcohol and how we were sold short.
You see, we are special, Grandfather told us so, and He’s looking down watching us.
Passing It On. | TJN