Young Jedi,
Your life is not your own, you will have a direct and dynamic effect in the lives of every one you interact with, every one you speak to, everyone you bump into or have any contact with, even just glance at from across the room. In that moment, each moment, throughout your life, you can either be a blessing or a curse. You were created to be a blessing. Everything you do matters, everything you think matters. Your instincts, talents, the gifts you were blessed with, which are just beginning to be developed, can do a lot of harm if you are not careful and diligent to learn how to use them appropriately. It is your journey and life’s purpose to learn how.
It will be hard but essential to discover a way to be comfortable when you feel or think that you are alone. This will require you to learn to actually love yourself, the sooner the better, trust me you are worth it. This process will nourish you and make you better in every aspect of your life. You must learn to find a sense of shelter and peace in the solitude, while you have it. There will come a time when you will be nearly unable to find time for yourself. One day you will be surrounded by people; their needs, their struggles and expectations, constantly. Because of your gifts and calling, you will have great responsibilities; you will become a warrior for the people, a leader, a teacher, and a shepherd. This will require seemingly constant contact and collaboration. As unlikely as it sounds now, one day you will actually long for solitude and not be able to achieve it. Eventually you will cherish any time you have to yourself, and it will be necessary to avoid burn out. Self-care is a vital medicine.
I know you feel isolated a lot. I know you feel all alone, perhaps even now, even in a crowd of people. I also know that your current sense of loneliness hurts worse than a broken leg, or an abscessed tooth. You are tribal in nature and purpose and I know the huge heart you have for the people, that you’re geared toward connection and community. That nagging sense of being lost and these feelings of hopelessness, currently finding no belonging are actually the fingerprints of God in your life. As strange as that sounds now, one day you will come to know that these are the instincts and passions that drive you to build and create community where ever you go throughout your life. What’s more, the current perception of a lack of those things will make you cherish them all the more and protect them for others when you encounter or construct them. Eventually this will carry you through many trials and tribulation ultimately this desperate need to be whole – in fellowship with other humans – will transform into a path of non judgmental inclusiveness and humble righteousness keeping you personally consistent and producing in you a quality and integrity that everyone will respect and admire. Also that tug towards discovery, towards understanding the things that are unseen but that you know are real, that draw is actually the Creator calling to your spirit. Be careful not to dwell or wallow on dark paths, because those suspicions you have about things behind the things are real and most of them are unhealthy. Eventually you will come to know the Creator directly and all will be well, but it will take faith and an open mind, the sooner you ask Him for clarity and understanding the better. Trust me when I tell you there is a great deal of suffering and hardship that you could avoid causing yourself and countless others in rebellious and unproductive pursuits. The creator will show you a better way!
Finally do not be so hard on yourself, mistakes will be made, that’s how we learn to overcome everything! Many of the things you tell yourself, about yourself, were learned from a world that hates you, it is evil and malevolent, and you should not repeat the lies it speaks about you. Speak positively about yourself and others always. Speak positively to your self always! Remember the fight is not with the people, not against flesh and blood, but spiritual in nature. The war is with principalities, evil spirits, systemic oppression, and the things behind the things, the things that made the people the way they behave. You can only overcome evil with goodness, kindness, and unconditional love. That in two words is your mission … Unconditional Love! You were made for it, will be served by it, and will best serve others with it. That is God, fully activated, in you! You have a lifetime to learn how, so enjoy these moments of solitude…and remember you are not alone!
Jai
(a.k.a. the Holy Sherpa)