What would I tell my younger self? I’ve tried to figure out how to do this. But then it clicked: What would you tell Cameon. He is a spitting image of me. He is my son — through and through. So, I would say first, “I love you and everything is alright and gonna be alright.”
Sometimes things are gonna be really good, just go with them. Things always find a way to work themselves out even when they feel like they are not gonna. Listen to your Dad when he says the path he took and the same his father took is not the right way to go. Trust him. He’s trying to save you and everyone around you a lot of pain and heartache. It’s OK to get mad, but it’s not OK to hurt other, just cause you are hurting. I know it’s hard to trust and get close to anyone cause every time you do, they are gone. But it’s really important to find your voice and expression that is positive. Don’t let outside people or influences shape you or your outlook of yourself in a negative way. Know that you are special in a good way. And you can achieve anything you want to be. And you don’t have to follow the negative role models, you idolize, blaze your own way. Create your own destiny. Shape your own image. You will experience a few agonizing pains in your life. Don’t let them destroy you make something positive from them. But most importantly, I would end just know that I’m proud of you and I love you and you can count on this no matter what.
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I was like ten and my brother just took his life. My mom was living in Townsend, Mountana., heading over to Helena to do some shopping and she looked at me and told me she wanted to talk to me about some “Big B Choices.” It excited me and I was like “Yea, Mom.” She asked me how I felt about moving to Florida with Steve and the boys. At first I was excited, I mean, what little boy doesn’t want to leave some hole in the wall tiny town and move to Florida? Almost halfway to Helena, it started to not sit right and I didn’t like it, cause I had already lost a sister, and a brother. I didn’t want to lose more. Up until then Mom and I were finally bonding again. I didn’t want to lose her but I didn’t know how to tell her so I shut down. We went to Sarasota and 2 ½ years later I was in juvenile prison until I was eighteen.
It’s important to find your voice and yourself expression that is positive. Don’t let outside people or influences shape you or your outlook in negative ways. Just know that you are special in a good way and you can achieve anything you want. You don’t have to follow the negative role models you idolize. Blaze your own way. Create and shape your own destiny and image. You will experience a few crippling, life shattering and agonizing pains in your life. Don’t let them destroy you. Make something positive from them. And when you have your kids, make something different than what you got in your life. Your kids are your arrows. Most importantly, Geoff, I love you and I am proud of you. | GS