BEATTY TRUST (CIRCLES)
BY RARIN "GREY FOX” QUALLS
Life is a sacred ceremony, the wisdom keepers taught us, the future is with us here and today, in the now and here. It’s coming up, in fact, right behind us. Over and over, we were told: turn around and look, there they are, the seventh generation — they’re coming up right behind you. They will soon be walking this same path, we must ensure there is a path to walk, and it is better than the one left for us.
STEVE WALL & HARVEY ARDEN, Wisdom keepers
There is a fire inside of me that aspires to be and do more. Not for my own personal gain — maybe partially for personal growth, but never am I driven by some materialistic motivation. This energy has a life of its own, like an undying need to preserve, help, and serve my people in a meaningful and positive way. I’m finding I love to do this service work. My fulfillment in this life of incarceration has come while being lonely and separated from family, home and community. Even though I view it as my duty and responsibility as an aware person, there are many who see keeping this good medicine flowing between all that are living as hard work.
Men like me covet loyalty, honor, culture, and respect for life. It’s embedded into all we are which creates a paradigm between valuing life in ways most people do not always understand and walking that invisible line of death. I’m the last of a dying breed built to carry this medicine that the faint of heart find too much to bear. I understand this may sound arrogant, self-assured, and even unreal. When the truth is, I grew up shy, self-conscious, and sad. Today, I’m just confident in who I am, and stand for a great many things that are bigger than myself. This makes it easier for others to confuse my intelligence as arrogance. It’s simply a trigger for other’s insecurities.
Discovering myself came in a time when my shattered spirit clung to any light available. As I teetered on the abyss of insanity (during this time of captivity) letting it become the end of me was not an option. Broken by man’s laws, sure. Still neither confinement nor this “whitewashed mentality” of punishment and greed could destroy this Indian Heart that resides deep within me.
Many Elders along this journey have contributed to my awareness. I’m the image of what they’ve left behind, mixed with everything I’ve experienced along my own walk in life.
Once I picked up this medicine it gave me a mental position from which I cannot ignore or regress from ever. It has been said, “If this way of life was easy everyone would be doing it.” This has been proven time and again amongst the identity-searching explorers of these great un-united states of Amerikkka. This same mentality is also true from pimpin’ to polygamy. Any intriguing, taboo lifestyle will attract culture vultures who will pick at the bones of our culture until it’s left a shell of what it once was. Anyone who tries to “practice” this Indigenous way of life will end up in extreme conflict when they abandon these gifts of knowledge given to them from the universe itself. The repercussions of turning against these gifts of wisdom are certain. The form it takes is the mystery. It is not in me to turn from this responsibility, or my people.
My focus has been on unity, and our children for as long as I can remember. Amerikkka has built its system backwards. From the top down, forgetting about the poor, and the children. The breaking up of homes, and mental torture don’t need to be values we covet as a nation.
Unfortunately, we have this throw-away idea of using people instead of caring about them. The next seven generations, and our mother Earth can get lost in this instant gratification celebration. The seven generations ahead of us, and behind us can’t be forgotten or we run the risk of forgetting where we came from. And when you forget “where” you come from, you are for sure to forget who you are.
In developing this deep emotional and spiritual connection that has come from “searching my soul,” it has come to me how moving forward (our progression as a nation) is going to be through those who came before us. To know our past is to know our future.
I am a believer of spiritual warriors, medicine men, energy exchange between all that is living, and the reciprocation of what we do will affect everything. The old ways have not died! “The ways” have just had a makeover. Masked by distractions in a new age of life. This new native lifestyle can be worrisome, but I’m sure it has always seemed like the youth are lost. But knowing our history tells us otherwise. What our ancestors went through, no one would have expected for us to still be here today. We are still strong in our traditions and doing our part to sustain the harmony which guides our future generations.
Real change is when we come together collectively to spread our wings and fly. Only together are we whole. Being less connected to the Earth, and our Creator has caused us to rely on our “eyes” to see “the way” — to have something tangible to show us the way. I encourage ALL blessed enough with eyes to read this, to SEE yourself … if it took 600 years to adapt to things like milk and alcohol, how in that same period did we lose something so powerful that has been encoded in our DNA since time unknown? Change and evolution are a positive part of life. Clarity precedes suffering. Suffering precedes change. Good/bad balance. It’s all circles.
The ones holding this medicine, the prophets, the medicine men, the chiefs, and the great men who are hard to find, they are right here walking with us today. Regardless of what mainstream society, the media, or the lost and confused may want us to believe. Truth is these great men can be right in front of you. They are in your town, community, and even in these iron houses kept outta sight.
Have hope that even if you don’t understand the direction these young people are going, we still have a vision; we still have strong individuals carrying this medicine in a good way. Everything is a circle and we happen to be standing in the middle of it.
The spirit in our “ways” lives as strong as ever inside us all. Even in the youth who may not have proven themselves — yet.
Some are born leaders; others are forged leaders made of hardship and experience that propels them into leadership. All of us are unique in what we bring to the circle.
It is our time to carry this medicine our ancestors protected, died for, did time for, were tortured for, walked barefoot for, and carried their own trauma and pride for. I know giving love from hardened hearts is a difficult thing to do when you’ve never had a speck of hope in your life. Still, I say, respect life, and love to the best of your ability within your current being. There is no need to go outside of oneself when what we seek is already within us. | RQ
So beautifully written and expressed.